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Jeff N.
Eastern Michigan University

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 318

Posted 12/17/2007 5:00 PM (GMT -6)

I've been wrestling with this song for long enough. I rustled up an ending today and I'm just gonna put it on here and see what you guys think. The first part is nice, but the second half...eww...

http://www.mediafire.com/?84tnttdzp3n

Let me know what you think.

J.P. DiGerolamo
Musician and Composer

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 249

Posted 12/17/2007 10:09 PM (GMT -6)

I really enjoyed the originality of the song. It is a disappointment, though, to be unable to hear the actual, live recording of the song. I'd love to hear it with all of the expression and dynamics. The ending was decent. I enjoyed it overall. Good job!

J.P. DiGerolamo
Music Website: www.freewebs.com/jpdmusic
Soundclick Website: www.soundclick.com/josephdigerolamo

Cattie
Temple University

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1630

Posted 12/18/2007 1:32 AM (GMT -6)

The second half isn't as good as the first, I think you're right, but I think it's because the whole eighth note cadence of the piece is interrupted so many times in the second half by dotted quarter notes that aren't supported rhythmically... maybe make them quarter-eighth rhythms so that the piece doesn't seem to stop so often?

Jeff N.
Eastern Michigan University

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 318

Posted 12/18/2007 12:09 PM (GMT -6)

Yeah, Cattie, that's what was bothering me. I don't know why I didn't fix it...I'll do that soon. Thanks.

If I could get someone to play it live, J.P., I would. I don't really know anybody though (and I certainly can't play myself, because I'm not a piano player). Glad you enjoyed it.

LordZapharos
Registered Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 75

Posted 12/18/2007 6:06 PM (GMT -6)

Hmm...for one thing, it sounds really choppy - you can almost hear a breath every measure. The beginning just seemed far too sudden; many waltzes have at least a short introduction, especially for piano. I can't really discern any kind of melody entitle THEME - while you certainly have melody and harmony, there isn't any recurring theme that is so popular in waltzes. Remember, a waltz IS a dance, and right now I don't think the song sounds like anyone could dance to it yet. Right now, especially, your pattern of moving notes gets tedious very quickly. Overall, try and design a theme!

''(...) The game can basically be considered unhackable. '' - Blizzard Entertainment (30th May 2000)

Visit my SoundClick site at: www.soundclick.com/lordzapharos

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